Influential Women in my Life

Right off, I know this list won't be complete. As I live, I learn, and so I'm sure I will be adding more woman to this list.

But, right off the top of my head:








Lucille Ball She is known to just about all the world as Lucy Ricardo, but Lucille Ball was more than (as in more roles, not "only") a stay home wife and mother, she was a star in her own right. She met obstacles head on, and knocked them down. Her career almost didn't start, because she was a brunette in a blond world. Her response wasn't to dye her hair blond, but to go red. It was a gamble, but one that paid off. Later in life, she was the older woman who fell in love with not just a younger man, but a younger man that was considered not to be of her race. Yes, we're talking about the Cuban Desi Arnaz. Though not honest about how exactly much older than she was than Desi, she bulldozed that hurtle. A prejudiced Hollywood refused to move Lucy from radio to tv if she insisted on Desi being her onscreen husband. Hollywood argued that America just wasn't ready for something so outrageous. In the vernacular of the time, Lucy (and Desi too, but this is woman's month) said "Nutz to you!" and went on to finance the show on their own, thus creating "I Love Lucy," a wildly successful show. Lastly, after Desi and Lucy divorced, she acquired DesiLu from Desi, becoming the first woman to run a Hollywood studio, and then sold it for millions.
So how did Lucy influence my life? I like the way she never took "no" as the final answer. Don't want a brunette, how about a redhead? Don't want a mixed race couple, I'll do it myself. Society frowns on women marrying younger than themselves, then you don't do it, I will. Moxy, and confidence in herself, even when she wasn't feeling all that confident.

Dorothea Lange is most known for a picture of a migrant mother and her children during the Dust Bowl / Great Depression Era. She was a child abandoned by her father, a gutsy woman who moved to the opposite coast (California) to open a photo studio, but those aren't the things that make her influential in my life. It is her gritty pictures. It made me realize that pictures don't always have to be "pretty." That a moment frozen in time often has more interest in it than the pretty portrait of a family taken in a studio.

Jessica Fletcher is a fictional character played by Angela Landsbury in the long running television series (12 seasons) Murder She Wrote. Angela Landsbury has had a very interesting life, but today, it's Jessica Beatrice MacGill Fletcher that I honor. Jessica had been happily married for many years before she wrote her first book at the age of 60 something. When her husband Frank died unexpectedly, she decided to change things in her life. The first thing was to retire from teaching high school English, and then she began to write her first mystery, for fun. Jessica has encouraged me that being a middle aged woman doesn't mean that life, or dreams are over. That you can still be active, you can still be attractive (without dressing or trying to look like you're 20 years younger), and writing success can come at any age or stage in life. In other words, there is still hope for me!

The Borrowers

Every once in a while someone will recommend to me a children's book. I just finished reading Heather Graham's book "Seance" so I thought, why not read it now? I have no idea of how, but 'The Borrowers' was already on my bookshelf.
It's a cute little book, but I really don't recommend it as an adult read, like say the Mary Poppins series or the Alice in Wonderland series. However, it would be a great book to read to the ten and under set before bedtime. I can pretty well guarantee that they will love it.

The Development, my second snippet

So, as you know, I said I was working on a story. I'm hoping that it will be good enough so that making it into an actual, buy-able book is worth while. Let me ask you, do you buy books that are not like your usual? Do you buy from authors you don't know? Do you buy books that are either longer or shorter than what you are used to? Do you buy e-books? Oooh, and if you do buy e-books, what do you read them on?
I've been trying to write every day and I am now beyond 15,000 words. Yes. I am soo proud, but that is tempered with the fact that the usual little Harlequin romance is about 65,000 words. That brings m e back to earth. How can anything be 65,000 words long unless it covers generations of people? Do you think if you wrote about this past week in your life you would use 65,000 words? Sometimes that is mind boggling and daunting!
So, here is another little snippet from the book I'm writing. Let me know how you enjoy it.

Dawn Morgan couldn't put her finger on it, but something about her room was different. Was it the atmosphere, the feeling that someone had been in her room while she was in school? Nothing seemed to be missing or not in it's usual spot, but something was …. Different.
Something was different with her brother Bobby's friend Steve Adams too. The game he had almost beat was missing. At first Steve had blamed his mother for confiscating the game because of a call from one of his teachers. His mom denied it and then Steve had blamed her brother of stealing it.
Bobby had been outraged at the accusation and Steve had back pedaled a bit and amended the stealing charge to just borrowing. Bobby hadn't been mollified at all.
The two long time friends were now enemies. For the time being anyway. Dawn wondered if Steve was as miserable with the separation as Bobby was?
Her bedroom door was thrown open by a raging Bobby. "Do you know what that rat's ass bastard did?" he demanded loudly.
Dawn had no idea of who the rat's ass bastard was, or what he had done. Considering Bobby's state of agitation, she figured reminding him about knocking before entering someone's room would be a waste of time. Dawn didn't have to wait long to find out what had Bobby so upset.
"He stole my game right out of the console!!! He yanked it right out!!"
"Who yanked it right out?" Dawn asked.
"That rat's ass bastard, Steve Adams!!!" he bellowed. "He's not getting away with this!"
Dawn couldn't imagine Steve Adams stealing anything from anyone, least of all his best friend. She tried to reason with Bobby, but he was too incensed to listen.
A few minutes later, she heard him screaming over the telephone, and then the phone being slammed into it's cradle.
"There's something not right with that story." She thought quietly to herself. She was convinced to her bones that neither Steve or her brother would steal, and certainly not from each other.
And there was still something wrong with her room. Dawn looked around her room again. Nothing looked disturbed or out of place. But there was something different, she just had no idea of what.

The Development

I have been tossing this idea around in my head for a little while and finally started to write it. I'm hoping that you will enjoy it, comment on it, critisize it and make me accountable to finally finish writing a story and getting it published and on Amazon.
No, this isn't my New Year Resolution, because I don't attempt that anymore. It is my promise to myself.
If you like this, and want to share the link, that is totally fine with me, but please don't copy and paste more than at most, a paragraph anywhere. Thank-you.

Without any more ado, The Development

He liked developments, housing developments. The roads were always well laid out. Dependable. Always there were a set amount of crossroads, a few cul d sacs, and entrances and exits that were usually convenient to main thoroughfares and even sometimes to the interstate.

He really liked the Corey Road South development. It was an older development than the Corey Road North development. It had fewer models of houses, only four. It had been developed in the 1960's when people expected their homes to have a yard for their children and elbow room for themselves.

Most of the homes backed onto a strip of woods that made the backyards private.

The North development had run out of money in the recession of the 1970's and the building stopped. Then when the price of real-estate went skyrocketing in the 1980's, the building lots were made smaller than the more sprawling lots of the south development. The north development had the same basic housing models as the south development; ranch, high ranch, two story and three floor split level, but it also had the models that became popular in the later twentieth century; the saltbox, the country farmhouse, and a few horrible modern abstracts.

He hated the modern abstracts. The floor plans were as individual as each owner. There were huge windows, sometimes two or even three stories high. How could you have any privacy in a house with windows as large as that? They couldn't even be hidden by trees! The building lots were too small for any decent sized trees. Development South had woods through out it. Development North was built wall to wall.


He liked Development South the best.

He'd been in almost all the houses. Well, that wasn't really the truth. But he knew all the houses. Really he did! After you'd been in one, raised ranch for instance, you'd know the layout of all of the development's raised ranches.

Well, he would. May-be the average person wouldn't, but he wasn't average. He was above average, although most people didn't know it.

He looked average though. Average height. Was he 5'11'' or was he 6'? Were his eyes blue or green? Was his hair brown or a dirty blonde?

Just an average Joe. That was him, average Joe.

But, not that average, if you knew him. Like, did the average guy have night goggles? He'd bet not, so may-be he wasn't that average now, was he?

It was astounding how average the average American was, no pun intended. For example, take the Adams, the Fletcher and the Rockney families. They lived on three different streets, in three different colored raised ranches. Three different families, with the same floor plan! Could you believe it? And to top it, they had almost exactly the same daily schedule!

6 AM - the lights went on in the rooms over the garage. Gee, could that be where all the bedrooms were located?

6:15 - the lights went on at the back of the house. People getting their coffee pots started. If they had a dog, the dog was let out and back in then too.

6:30 The fathers left the house.

6:45 - Mothers leave the house with the kids in the car and dropped them off at the bus stops throughout the development.

7:00 - Busses come and pick up the kids. The whole development was empty really, except for one stay at home mother, a couple that worked from home, and two elderly couples. Seven people in a development of almost one hundred houses!

3:00 PM - Some mothers and one or two fathers came home.

3:15 PM - The busses started to bring the kids home from school.

6:30 PM The last of the parents came home. (Most residents were home by 9PM)

11:00PM - The security alarms were put on for the night.

He loved how average the residents of the development were. They were the average ones, not him! They were average Joe's and Jane's and Joe-ettes and Jane-etts!

Thinking on it always made him chuckle!

Like the Rockneys security system, for instance. They turned it off in the morning when they let the dog out. They turned it back on when the mother left for work at 6:45. Then the kids turned it off when they returned home from school, and usually forgot to turn it back on! The system was activated again at ten, which was a whole hour earlier than most of the other neighbors.

He'd spent a lot of time watching that house and their schedules. He'd use that one gap when the kids forgot to reactivate the alarm to enter the house at 8pm, when the family had all left to attend some school function. When he heard the alarm reactivate at ten that night, he had to cover his mouth to muffle his giggles. It just tickled his funny bone that the alarm to keep him out of the house was turned on with him in the house!

He waited in the attached garage until all the house noises stopped before he put on his night goggles and went up the stairs. The dog was sound asleep on the couch. It didn't make a sound as he made his way down the hallway.

First door on the left, coat closet. First door on the right, bathroom. Second door on the left, son's bedroom. Second door on the right, parent's bedroom. Door at the end of the hall, daughter's bedroom. He didn't know why, but parent's usually got the room next to the bathroom, sons got the smallest room and daughters got the end room.

He stood watching the Rockney girl sleep. Her blonde hair splayed across the pillow. Her breath was soft. She was just beautiful as she slept. Her foot stuck out from under the blanket, and he debated with himself for just a minute, if he should cover her foot? The room was cool, and she might catch a cold.

He walked into the room on cat feet. He covered her foot, then walked out of the room. He walked back up the hall, and then made a detour into the kitchen. He rummaged through the refrigerator, took a carton of take out Chinese food out, found a plastic spoon in the junk drawer - last drawer to the right of the sink - and walked back down the stairs. Then he waited in the garage for morning to come, and the alarm to be deactivated.

When it was, he left the garage with the take-out container and threw it into the garbage receptacle outside and in the back of the garage. Then he went home. He was tired from the night's adventures.

Chapter Two

Sarah Rockney felt like someone was watching her as she lay in her bed. She tried to keep her breathing soft and natural while trying to listen for any sound that would give away the presence of an intruder.

No sound.

She wished she had kept her swimming fish nightlight that her Uncle Nick had given to her when she was eight but she felt like such an immature baby having it in her room. She'd even seen her friend Maria snicker when she'd seen it.

Now Sarah wished that she hadn't paid Maria any attention. The room was as black as, as black as…..she struggled to think of a comparison.

As black as a velvet blanket wrapped around her head!

She could see nothing. She could hear nothing. Eventually Sarah fell back to sleep.

The alarm on her radio sounded what seemed only a short time later, and Sarah woke up still tired.

"You're moving slow today." Mrs. Rockney remarked to her daughter when Sarah eventually made it into the kitchen. Mr. Rockney had already left for work.

"I had trouble sleeping last night." She answered as she searched the refrigerator for last night's left overs of Chinese food. She thought it might make a good lunch for school that day. She couldn't find it, and grabbed a cup of yoghurt instead. Then she searched the junk drawer for a plastic spoon. There wasn't any.

"Sarah, you need more for your lunch than a cup of yoghurt!" her mother reproved.

"I would if people didn't finish everything in the house." Sarah mumbled.

As usual, this work of fiction is Copyright 2011 Mary Bennett

A new post on The Big C

http://cancerstagefour.wordpress.com/2010/12/29/sunshine-and-lollipops/

Cafe Press Shirt

Trying to buy gifts for Nate this year, and still not going ridiculously overboard was hard to do this year because for the most part, I don't have a car. So no running out and picking up "littles" here and there. Consequently, I did the majority of my buying over the web.

Nate really like John Wayne, and with the remake of "True Grit" coming out, I had to buy him the best version as a Christmas present - the original, with John Wayne in it! I also mosied over to Snap Fish to make him a new mouse pad, figuring that everyone needs a new mouse pad. I know the one that I have, is the one that came with the computer. It is thin and bent up, and cuts my hand when I get close to it's bent up edges.

I didn't know it, Nate has a desk, no computer.

Then I mosied over to Cafe Press for this wise guy shirt. I knew I was about out of time (yes, I really procrastinated this year) , so I asked them to please wrap it, before sending it. They did a fantastic job! No one could guess what the gift was, and everyone in the house shook or squeezed it at some time or other. When Nate opened it, I was really pleased with how well the picture was printed out.
Lastly, I know that we just had winter storm Adrianna. It ruined my son's Christmas visit and now the snow that came with it is having the good grace to start melting away. I can't wait for it to be gone, and for winter to be over.

I am not giving it one more line of blog!

The Seance

I am reading another Heather Graham book called "Seance." I am enjoying it very much. It's just scary enough to keep the pages turning, but not enough to give me nightmares.

At this moment, I am trying to write a story called "The Development," and I found it interesting that the two of us chose to reveal what is in the killer's mind, without saying who the killer is.

I'm thinking of posting bits of my story on my blog as I write. May-be the feedback will keep me motivated, thinking and writing? I don't think that I am the solitary writer type.

Baking Soda and Vinegar or Frugal Cleaning

It's dawned on me that I haven't posted about being frugal in a while. I'm still doing the frugal living, as best I can with the UNCONVERTED, but I haven't written about it.

At Christmas, my daughters were making a lot of cookies, and I was doing a lot of cooking. We were all using the sink a lot, and it showed! See the first picture.

It was a complete, dirty, mess. I was ready to start cleaning it, when I thought, "You know, I should take pictures of the before, during and after of the sink to show that the frugal, non chemical cleaners really do work."

So, here is the sink before cleaning.





And this is the sink after sprinkling, ultra cheap baking soda on it.



Then I sprayed vinegar (I keep white vinegar in a
plastic spray bottle) on top. The big globs of white in the sink is where the baking soda and vinegar have reacted with each other.

Then I scoured the sink using a paper towel (yes, it should have been with a rag, but today I used a paper towel) and then rinsed the sink out.



And this is the sink afterward. See how clean and shiny it is? And no chemicals to hurt your septic system or the environment were needed!!

The Unconverted

So who am I to be the Christmas Tree Nazi? I'm not. Happily for all family members who preferred a tree bigger than my 3' kitchen tree, we did not wait for the tree we liked (the winner was BJ's) to go on sale but bought it mere hours before Santa arrived.

It was the second to last one.

But in keeping with my "less is more" mantra, dear heart and the kids that were home at the time, made paper snowflakes for the tree.

And that huge orange-y cylinder on the tree? Was the Cafe Press shirt of The Original American Pickers wrapped and sent by Cafe Press. Dear Heart knew it was for him, but had no idea what it was. I have to say that our experience with Cafe Press went very well. The wrapping was great, and the shirt came out fantastic. Everyone in the family got a laugh out of it. (You can see it on my webpage until Dear Heart models it.)


Let me remind you that this picture was taken fairly early in the morning after a late night for me. It's a mug from two of my son's and says $*#@!!!! Cancer, which is how I feel about Cancer.






And I got my second ever in my life box of Godiva Chocolate. Okay, so much for keeping things simple. Mea Culpa!! Mea maxissimus culpa!! But oh! Mmmmmm, deliciouso!!!







To end this post, on a happy and sad note, a cancer buddy stopped fighting with cancer on December 23rd and spent Christmas with her Savior. I am so happy that she is no longer in pain, but still sad. I always feel sad when one of my prayer and cancer buddies decide it's time to stop fighting, even though I understand why. So please remember Dovie and prayer for the repose of her soul, and pray for comfort to her children, Sissy and Harrison.

And have yourself a basic, happy and traditional Christmas!

Three Days Before Christmas

I can't believe that it's only three more days until Christmas!! I'm trying to stay within the spirit; to not only count my blessings, but to also really be appreciative of them. To forgive everyone who has wronged me, even people who I don't speak to (because of distance or because or circles just don't intersect anywhere), not just by my words, but truly, in my heart.

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who have trespassed against us.

There had been rumblings among the unconverted that they might want to get a live tree that is slightly bigger, well a few feet bigger, than my little kitchen tree. Until they saw the price, added the stand (that would be used this year only) and realized it was the same price as the prime rib we're having for Christmas Dinner.

Which is a Christmas surprise. But I'm not nervous to write it here, because the people who will be surprised don't read my blog anyway. Hehehe!!!!

I have to admit, some of my Holiday Spirit has been abraded by the commercials that the major retailers have put on the television airwaves these last few weeks. One is Target and their catchy little song as a couple pop through their house hiding gifts inside of stew pots, under Frosty's hat etc. Then they ruin the whole thing with:

I don't mean to be mean
I don't mean to be vicious
But you're never gonna find my Christmas!

Really?? No, I mean, really?

Not to be outdone is crassness, WalMart's catchy little Jingle is "Less money, More Christmas!"

So somebody, please tell me when Christ's Mass became synonymous with gifts or presents?

And no, this is not me being bah! humbug -ish! Nothing could be further from the truth. I love Christmas. I love the celebration and traditions of Christmas.

However, someone needs to tell the retailers of the United States of America, that going into debt or even spending copious amounts of money is not the spirit or tradition of Christmas.

Neither is having family feuds or sniping at what is supposed to be a festive and joyful meal. I couldn't believe it when I read in a newspaper article that people dread going home for Thanksgiving and Christmas.

What is really annoying me, is even though I've denounced the spend! spend! spend! of Christmas, I every so often mentally go through my Christmas list and the thoughtful gifts that I bought and wonder, Gosh, is this enough? Should I have eschewed thoughtful and non-extravagant gifts for the big "Christmas maker gifts?"

Then when I come back to sanity, I want to kick myself for my doubts. For my momentary desertion to the other side!

After all, who's birthday is it anyway?

I can't wait for Christmas to get here and I'm not proud of some of my reasoning because part of the reason is that I can't wait for my vacillating between buy and buy-more to be over. I don't want any more "buy" Christmases, no matter if the economy recovers, or even if the economy becomes super - heated again.

Hopefully, next Christmas will be easier.

Cat Scan Update

http://wp.me/s11RA4-38
My CAT scan Update

The Small Tree

As you may well remember, we were hit by the 200 year storm last March. Our lower level was flooded, and we lost a lot of items that were in storage including my son's brand new carpet (which I blogged about buying) and our artificial, 6' Christmas Tree.

Ever since November, my husband and I have been looking for a replacement. We've gone to every store near us, and when we were visiting my sons in New York, we even went to their local stores to look. WalMart, Target, K-Mart, Lowes, Home Depot, Sears, The Christmas Tree Shop, Rite Aide, we've tried them all. The trees were either too tall, too short, had papery needles that I didn't like or trust, was to skimpy, or was just too expensive. So far, we don't have a new Christmas tree.

"We could always get a live tree." my husband said.

"Live as in balled, or live as in cut?"

"Whichever." he replied refusing to get into that conversation again.

I don't mind a live, balled tree. The only problem is, to get a tree that is big enough, you run into a quite considerable price tag.

I don't like cut trees. If we lived in the wilderness, or on enough acreage, where we could re-use the tree, I wouldn't mind a cut tree. In the winter, we could make it into a refuge for little animals and a feeder for birds. Come spring, we could put it through a chipper and make it mulch. But we don't live on acreage anymore, we live in a development where the neighbors get cranky at seeing brown, tinder dry trees that could set the whole neighborhood on fire sitting in their neighbor's yard.

The idea of ending a tree's life, so that it can end up with a bunch of other trees in a landfill makes me feel depressed. Even when I am reassured that the tree was planted on a tree farm for just that purpose, and that it's replacement has already been replanted on the same farm.

It's just hippies like me, that go out into the wilderness to cut down a tree these days. So there!!!! I've been told.

So I was home, and my husband was at work. I was looking around my small, little (I'm being redundant, I know), very un-Christmas-y home when the thought came to me "Heck! Both of us are too stubborn to buy the tree we like at such an expensive price until they have their half off sale. Why don't I put up my little kitchen tree in the living room, since there isn't room for a kitchen tree in this house anyway?"

So I did. My kitchen tree is about three foot tall, and fiber-optic. It looked great in my kitchen decorated with cookie cutters. This year it looks good in my living room decorated with candy canes. May-be at some time I'll put some garland on it, but for right now, it really looks good in it's simplicity.

If you read my previous blog, I'm in a "less is more" mindset this holiday season anyway.

"Really? You're okay with a three foot tree this year?" my husband asked with a little disbelief after he came home.

"Yes I am. It's a beautiful little tree, you know I've always loved it."

My husband had to agree, the tree was pretty.

Does anyone expect that people who have their Thanksgiving dinner on the Sunday after Thanksgiving so the whole family can be together would be tied to the tradition of a full sized tree?

When Less is More

Perhaps it all started with the dreaded question "What do you want for Christmas?"
I realized that there were many little "remembrance" gifts that I would like to get, but there was nothing that was a "lovey" gift.
Do you know what remembrance gifts and lovey gifts are? A "remembrance" gift, is just a small gift costing a few dollars or even handmade to "remember" you to the season. In other words, the gift is a mere trifle.
Now a "lovey" gift is a whole 'nother story! A "lovey" is the gift that you circle in the Wish Book or a catalogue. It's the gift you dream about at night and you daydream about. It's the one gift you desire above all others. It's the gift that "makes" your Christmas.
This year, I desire no "lovey" gift. I really and truly realize that I already have everything that is important to me. I have children that love me. I have a husband that loves me. I will be spending Christmas with the majority of my children and my husband.
There is nothing more that I desire.

Rest In Peace, Elizabeth Edwards

I just wrote a blog about Elizabeth Edwards if you would like to read it: http://cancerstagefour.wordpress.com/2010/12/08/rest-in-peace-elizabeth-edwards/

The Advent Wreath

I am sure there is a long history to the advent wreath, but I really have never researched it. It's been part of my history ever since I can remember.

My parents had a gold circle with ornate candle cups as their advent wreath. My grandmother had a plain one. She put a green, plastic, Christmas wreath on hers and it looked very pretty.

Our first year of being married, I didn't have an advent wreath. I bought four votive candles (three purple, one pink), lit them, waited them to have enough wax to drip, and fastened them to a plate by the wet wax. I put a shimmering Christmas garland around it and called it a day. It served well and looked pretty.

Other years, I've used heavy coat thread to hang the wreath from the chandelier above our dining table, and decorated that with a plastic star garland we had. It looked great, and with a bigger family by this time, saved much needed table space.

There are traditional prayers and meditations, but often we lit the candle (or candles depending on the week) and said a simple grace.

A search on Google will find all sorts of Advent meditations and prayers but this might be a nice place to begin: http://www.catholiceducation.org/articles/religion/re0132.html

I hope you observe Advent this year. I think you'll find it very beneficial!

Hail and Blessed!

Not only is this Sunday the day we're holding our big Thanksgiving family dinner, it is also the start of the season of Advent.

You might not be familiar with the Advent Season. This year has been one more hard year, following more hard years than any of us want to remember. It seems, at least in these parts, that as soon as September started, people started to put up their scarecrows, pumpkins and even spider webs. Even before September ended, big pots of mums made their appearances as well as jack-o-lanterns, tree ghosts, and witches flying into walls. Hardly had the kids categorized their Halloween stash, than all Halloween and fall decorations were thoroughly removed and replaced with Christmas decorations. Christmas music has been on the radio, and avoided by me, for at least two weeks now.

Advent has been being pushed out the door for years now, but it seems like even Advent Calendars - items that have been passed down through generations even, are unheard of today.

I can understand it. The last few years have been just awful - no horrendous is a more apt definition. People have been losing their houses, their jobs, medical benefits, retirement and even all their savings for at least the last four years. Now we can add sabre rattling by North Korea and increased threats from Al Queda.

People don't want to think about waiting for Christmas. They don't want to think about giving things up. They feel like they've done enough giving up.

We don't need the somberness of purple candles. We need bright, colorful lights and cheery singing of carols that bring back memories of a happier time.

We don't have the emotional fortitude for advent.

But, may-be we should.

Advent is a simple season. If you don't want to have an advent wreath, Jesse Tree or advent calendar, you don't have to. You can have all three if you want them. They don't have to be plain, you can dress them up as much as you'd like!

The real beauty of Advent is the building of, and strengthening of character. In this world of noise and immediacy, when we want or think we need everything now, Advent encourages us to wait, to be still and reflect. Something BIG is going to happen. Something wonderful, more wonderful than has ever happened before and will never happen again. Something that deserves to be meditated on, anticipated, and truly celebrated for what it is.

The best part about Advent is the lack of pressure. There is nothing you must buy, no gifts to have to shop for, no traditional foods, no must go to meetings. However, you have to remember, that you will only get out of observing Advent, what you put into it.

Many people pray this prayer (It's called the Christmas Novena or St Andrew's Christmas Novena) starting on the first day of Advent until the Feast of Christmas :

Hail, and blessed be the hour and moment at which the Son of God was born of a most pure Virgin at a stable at midnight in Bethlehem in the piercing cold. At that hour vouchsafe, I beseech Thee, to hear my prayers and grant my desires. (Mention your intentions here) Through Jesus Christ and His most Blessed Mother.

It is said 5 times at every meal. The repetition might seem strange to you, or even superstitious, but Our Lord has told us to be constantly praying. Remember the widow and the unjust Judge who ruled against her. But the widow kept petitioning the Judge, night and day, until he could stand it no longer, and reversed his verdict to rule in her favor.

Very wonderful favors have been given from the reciting of this prayer, and I really encourage you to make it part of your Advent this year.

A Thankful Day

One of the not-so-great things about having your children grow up, is that they grow up. They grow up, get educated, and move away. They have responsibilities that you can't suspend, things like the obligation to work on Thanksgiving Day.

So a few years ago, when the majority of our family had to work on Thanksgiving Day, we gave a long hard look at the holiday.

Was it a religious holiday? No

Did it have to be celebrated on any particular day to preserve it's authenticity? No. Throughout American history, Thanksgiving has been celebrated on many different days. In Colonial America, they sometimes celebrated many days of thanksgiving.

We broke down what we thought thanksgiving is to us - a day to be thankful and to gather with our family. We summarized that if over half of our family was missing the traditional Thanksgiving meal because they had to work and wouldn't be able to make the trip to our home, then it just wouldn't be Thanksgiving.

So we changed the day we would celebrate, to a day that the majority of our family would be able to gather together. One year it was on a Monday. This year it is on a Sunday. I also found that by not having our meal on the BIG THANKSGIVING DAY, a lot of the pressure for the perfect meal was gone.

We still have turkey, stuffing, and pumpkin pie; but the turkey isn't as large. We may cook more foods, but we don't cook a bigger quantity. Leftovers are more manageable and not a burden to try to foist into later meals.

So, while you are eating your thanksgiving meal, I will think of all the blessings that I have been given.

1. The top blessing for me is my year of remission from cancer. Because if I wasn't in remission, I would either be battling, or sleeping the deep sleep!

2. My next blessing is that all the rest of my family is healthy. Not relatively healthy with minor ailments. They are strong-as-a-horse healthy. And for that, I am grateful!

3. I am grateful for a husband who stayed loyal through all our ups and downs while I was healthy. I am grateful the way he put his shoulder to the wheel during the iffy days of my survival, and my grueling recovery.

4. I am grateful for the relationship between all of my children. They truly love each other, and will be there for each other through thick and thin. The older ones look out for the younger ones, so they avoid the pitfalls of life. And the younger ones remind the older ones to be vigilant for their health.

5. I am grateful that my illness didn't scare any of my children away from me. I'm sure coming to see me, esp when I was covered in tubes and wires was very hard to endure.

6. I am grateful for all the prayers that were continually offered for me during my struggle. I'm sure that, and my surgeon, are the only reason I have been given a reprieve.

7. I am grateful for the Internet. It kept me in touch with, and helped me to get to know better my Aunt Tanya and cousin Bernadette , both who left this world in God's friendship within this year.

8. I am grateful to Bernadette, who's example and advice helped me to endure hospital life.

9. I am thankful for my language.

10. I am thankful that my husband has a full time job.

11. I am thankful that we have enough food.

12. I am thankful for a roof over my head.

13. I am thankful for a warm house in winter and a cool house in summer.

14. I am thankful to live in America.

15. I am thankful that we aren't governed by Sharia law in America.

16. I am grateful that I'm not a woman, or a Catholic under Sharia Law.

17. I am grateful that my testimony is valued equally with a man's testimony in court.

18. I am grateful that I can own property in my own name.

19. I am grateful that I can vote in all government elections.

20. I am grateful that I can pick who I want to marry.

21. I am grateful that I can pick if I want to stay married.

22. I am grateful that I could go to school, without having to hide that information, or worrying if I would be killed on my way to school or in school, simply because I was a female.

23. I am grateful that I can pick what church I want to attend on Sunday, without fear that terrorists are going to drive through the front door, throw bombs at us, and shoot three year olds through the mouth because he screamed "Stop the shooting!" in terror.

24. I am grateful that I don't have to go to any church, temple or mosque if I don't want to.

25. I am grateful that I don't live in a country where enemies can make up offenses against you, for adultery, witchcraft, blasphemy etc, and you get railroaded into a death of hanging until suffocated, stoning, crucifixion, or burning at the stake.

26. I am grateful to live in a country where I was allowed to accept every single child God sent us, without fear of forced abortion or fines.

27. I am grateful to live in a country where I can write what I want on this blog what I want to write, without the fear of having my door pounded down in the middle of the night, being arrested, and never seen again.

28. I am grateful that I live in a country in which I can write a letter to the editor about politicians, about the cost of the paper today - Sunday price, filled with paid advertising - feeling very ripped off, and being able to sign my real name, without fear.

29. I am grateful to live in a country where I can wear a religious symbol four foot high, on my five foot body, and no one will have the right to tell me to remove it.

30. I am grateful not only for free public schools, but also for the right to home school if I wish. I only wish that the free education extended onto college and tech school, and didn't end at the age of 21, but went on until death.

31. I am grateful that I can bring such joy to all people. Some people feel joy at my arrival, and others feel joy at my departure.

32. I am grateful for the relatively inexpensive price of chocolate. (And hope that the rumors I've heard that chocolate will be too expensive for the average person to buy in the next 20 years are totally wrong.)

33. I am grateful for the readers of my blog. Thank-you!

What are you grateful for?

And now a break from our usually scheduled programming!

Here I am, typing away on a keyboard attached to a borrowed computer. I still have no idea what I, or one of my family members, clicked on in order to get the computer frying virus that we got. So, I'm a little nervous about using the computer, and my imagination is a little rusty at this point. The conclusion to my Halloween Story will be coming, but it's kind of hard to write about Halloween in November, on a borrowed computer.

Before I continue on this particular post, let me reiterate, I am NOT a professional. I am only someone with a certain world view and the common sense of that world view. I can only give my opinion, and I can't guarantee that it is correct. So please take the following with a big ol' shaker of salt. Come to think of it, sipping on a Margarita couldn't hurt either!


Dear Old Broad,

My husband lost his very good job a few months ago. There was no warning, the whole department was given a box at their desk to clean out their effects, and were escorted by a guard out of the building. He was home before ten that morning.

I have a little part time job in retail. It was never meant to pay any bills, just mostly gave me something to do.

We have figured that we can pay the mortgage for about six months, and if our house isn't sold by then, we'll most likely lose it. Just like so many other Americans.

We bought a small, single wide trailer in a nearby park, and have been transferring things we want to keep to the trailer and dumping years and years of memories into a dumpster. While I'm doing that, my husband is doing maintenance on the house so hopefully it will sell faster.

All the kids are out of the house, except one, and she will be out of high school this year. I'm not thrilled that someone else will get to use my newly remodeled kitchen when and if my house sells, but I'm trying to make the best out of it. With the trailer, at least we know we'll have a roof over our heads.

The problem is my husband. He is so angry! I don't think he thought his job would ever end, and if it did, he'd find a new one easily. The fact that he'll probably work as a greeter in Home Depot when the unemployment times out has him furious.

The situation isn't my dream scenario, but I'm dealing with it. He is not. He is angry, sarcastic and caustic. It's making trying to deal with the situation much harder than if we could just deal with it as a team.

I know there's nothing you can do. I'm just venting.

Sincerely,
His Wife


Dear His Wife,

My first question to you is this, do you fear that you might be physically harmed by him when he is angry? Because if you do, you need to get help, and a women's crisis center would probably be the place to get it.
If you are not afraid for your physical well being, and please remember I'm not an advice giver by trade, then I think you need to get your husband some counseling. If he's spent a lot of time being educated and/or time working in this profession, then his loss is probably more than what it appears at first sight.
I'm guessing he is going through a very depressing time.

Well, that's it for me. I'm sorry that I'm not much more help than this. May-be my readers will have better suggestions?

You can't keep a good woman down, knock wood!

It happened again, my computer got a horrible virus that resisted all of the tricks that I learned previously to remove it.

Then my son came for a week. My knight in shining armor! But, alas, it kicked his butt too!

So now, I am on a "loaner" computer. So all of the nifty pictures that I had for my blog, that were stored on my computer, are gone too. They might be salvageable, but I won't know for a very long time.

Days to Christmas?

Did you know that as of today, there are only two months until Christmas? Yes, that's right. Who can believe that it is coming so soon.
If you are at a loss for what to get the wise guy in your life, the teen, or the person who likes to watch "American Pickers" on television, I have a suggestion? Why not the shirt shown above?
I'm selling it in my CafePress store. Cafepress.com/sagharborgifts
and I will certainly be glad for your purchase!!! You shouldn't be able to find this anywhere else because this was actually an idea my husband came up with one day while we were watching "American Pickers" ourselves! That is my son's nose and finger too, by the way!

Prolific Blogger Award

Have you noticed? I haven't been on my blog in a while? I will briefly mention that I am in remission from Stage Four cancer and not mention it again for a while, but sometimes it has an affect on you emotionally or physically, or both. In this case, it has been both. And to my faithful readers, I do apologise!!

So what a wonderful and uplifting surprise to see when I returned, that a special blogging award was waiting for me!

My Thanks to Sherry for her timing and for thinking of me!

Here goes:

1. Every winner of the Prolific Blogger Award has to pass on this award to at least seven other deserving prolific bloggers.

2. Each Prolific Blogger must link to the blog from which he/she has received the award. Sherri, The Mess That Is My Mind

3. Every Prolific Blogger must link back to the to the original post that started all this, it explains the origins and motivation for the award. And that would be Hazra, of Advance Booking.

Original Post http://linktoink.blogspot.com/2009/11/new-awardand-new-design.html

4. Every Prolific Blogger must visit said starting post and add his/her name in the Mr. Linky , that way we all can get to know the other winners.



So this is who I give this award to:

Lily of Never Fading Wood - http://neverfadingwood.blogspot.com/ Who has seen more than her season of hardship. BUT, we know the good guy always wins, and the Thorns family has risen from the ashes. An always interesting blog.

Kat from Homesteading on The Internet If you liked the Little House on the Prairie books, you will love this website. Rich with pictures, knowledge and advice. Try it once, and you will be a follower, guaranteed!!

Sherri for The Mess That is My Mind May-be you're not suppose to nominate the person who nominated you, but Sherri is soo honest, so hopeful and so feisty in her never-give-up style, that I had to give her the award myself. Read her blog, you'll smile, and pull up your big girl panties and get on with your day.

Sr Mary Martha from Ask Sister Mary Martha If you miss the days of the parochial school, when their were a lot less wimps, more self sacrifice and roll -up-your-sleeves and get it done attitude, step into the classroom of Sister Mary Martha. You might not like some of the things she has to say, you will appreciate her bravery in saying them.

Cathe from Just Something I Made I am a "artist" of the naive/prim/folk art style, so sometimes I just need a blog of eye candy. This is one of them.

Wendy - from Wendy's Adventures in Wonderland which is another "eye candy" blog.

And Gena - from The House on Lavender Hill which is the most perfect house anyone has ever lived in, and yet looks soo cozy and friendly.

Words Are so Funny!!!

I would have started writing this earlier, but I had to use the bathroom sooo badly!!! Well, no, that isn't exactly right, though I can't say that I had to use the bathroom so goodly either.

Hmmmmm......... this English language isn't always used soo well, is it?

I mean, I really had to use the bathroom, but I had no intention of using it badly. I wasn't going to urinate on the floor or pee in the tub or anything like that. Now that would being using the bathroom badly, wouldn't it?

You know, when people use the English language incorrectly, it makes me sooo mad! Well, no, not really. I do get angry, but it doesn't unhinge me mentally. I don't go mad. Unless .....

No, I won't go there!

Seasons of Your Life: Fifteen Albums

Do they even call them albums anymore? The CD's that you buy, or don't buy actually. I haven't bought a disk of music in a few years, I subscribe to Napster and my family downloads tracks to their MP3 players.











Once upon a time, a long time ago, people listened to their music on round, flat things that were called records. They came in different diameters, and were called 45's, 33's, and 78's depending on what speed they had to be played at on a record player. They were kind of a precursor to the CD/DVD, except they used a needle (or a industrial diamond) to transfer the music from the record to the speaker instead of a laser.










Record Albums were a group of songs put together on one album, usually by the same artist, and were given names like "The Christmas Album."







Soon after that technology came out with the 8 track tape. The 8 track tape looked a lot like the games for the NES Nintendo game console. It was plaid on a tape deck and was still called an album.







Not too long after that came the cassette tape. It was smaller and thinner than the 8 track tape, and was a little sturdier than it too. Soon it replaced the 8 track tape and was a staple in most cars until the CD player replaced it.







Then the Internet became widely and wildly available, and people learned how to share tracks, illegally. Very few people were buying albums anymore. Along came the MP3 player which allowed people to store their music on the computer hard drive and transfer files to their MP3 player at will. Sites like Napster became wildly popular for people who liked a single song or track from an artist, but not necessarily any other of their songs.







I can not name a single new album, which is pretty sad considering I know so many old albums.







So, here is a list of 15 albums that colored my life. See how they compare to your list.







1. Let It Be by the Beatles







2. Sesame Street (I was about ten with 3 younger brothers. Besides, this album had cool songs on it like Kermit the Frog singing "It's Not Easy Being Green."







3. Gypsies Tramps and Thieves - Cher







3. Calypso - John Denver







4. Photographs and Memories - Jim Croce







5. Best of Bread - Bread







6. The Best of America - America







7. The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars - David Bowie







8 Young Americans - David Bowie







9. The Man Who Sold the World - David Bowie







10. Out of the Blue - Electric Light Orchestra







11. Led Zeppelin (can't remember what album)







12. Appetite for Destruction - Guns and Roses







13. Black Rain - Ozzy Osbourne







That last CD actually was given to my son. I liked some of the tracks, and listen to them on Napster, so the last album I ever bought was over 20 years ago. Yes, Appetite is from 1988/89 and still Welcome to the Jungle is played sometime at every baseball/football game.







What are the albums of your life?

About the Record Player:
This is a file from the Wikimedia Commons. Information from its description page there is shown below.
Commons is a freely licensed media file repository. You can help
This file is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license.
You are free:
to share – to copy, distribute and transmit the work
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Under the following conditions:
attribution – You must attribute the work in the manner specified by the author or licensor (but not in any way that suggests that they endorse you or your use of the work).
Phonograph manufactured in Romania, by "Unitra" company The aparatus below is an radio/amplifier manufactured by Electromures.

date/time username edit summary
07:37, 14 August 2005 en:User:Paulnasca (further explanations about the picture)
07:29, 14 August 2005 en:User:Paulnasca ({{cc-by-2.0}} Phonograph manufactured in Romania, by "Unitra" company)

Michaelmas

A Poem about the Michaelmas Daisy:

The Michaelmas Daisies, among dede weeds,
Bloom for St Michael's valorous deeds.
And seems the last of flowers that stood,
Till the feast of St. Simon and St. Jude.


Today is the day the Church celebrates the Feast of Saint Michael the Archangel, and my first Michaelmas bloom was yesterday, in the pouring rain. What a brave little flower! As you can see from my patch of Michaelmas Daisies, they are in all stages of bloom; some are still tight little green buds, and some you can see the tightly folded white petals, and some the petals are on their way out.

I wasn't always a fan of St Michael the Archangel, not that I ever didn't like him, but his feast day has come and gone without me noticing it, until my brother Michael's death. Sometime in that first year of bereavement, I came across the habit of the Michaelmas Daisy, and the knowledge that I had had Michaelmas Daisies ever since some time in the early 1980's, even before my brother's death!

So every year as the 20th approaches and I feel grief again, the 29th follows with Michaelmas Daisies that I have seen brave heat, cold drenching rain and howling wind. They are an inspiration that usually endures to the Feast of Saints Simon and Jude on October 28th.





And this is how our biodegradable bag of Sun Chips is doing. A little dirty, a little faded, but still going pretty strong, despite drenching rains, wind and lots of 80 degree heat.

Just a reminder, tomorrow is the last day you can scroll to the Earring Giveaway post and post and become one of my followers to have a chance to win the earrings, donated by DiamondEarrings.org

The Agony Column, Part Two

From the last blog:

Dear Old Broad,

I have known my fiancee and his family for the past five years. We met in college and became engaged last year. My fiancee George is very close to his younger brother Bill and really wants him as Best Man at our wedding. Bill is in high school and is very into football. Because George really wants to have his brother in the wedding party and because Bill is really into football, I coordinated the date of my wedding so that it would not fall on a "football" day.

The invitations have been printed and sent, the hall is reserved, the caterers hired. Everything is set for that day, except now Bill isn't coming because some other football game thing is happening. It isn't a scheduled game, I really have no idea what it is or why it is so important for Bill to attend it instead of being best man at our wedding. As a double whammy, George's parents won't be attending our wedding either, they'll be watching Bill play football.

George wants to change the date of our wedding, which means that we'll lose money on renting the hall, same with the caterers, photographer etc and we'll have to contact everyone with the new date. George really wants to have his brother as Best Man, but he will abide by my decision.

My parents are livid, and my friends while trying to be supportive (and having to potentially change their schedules) are rolling their eyes.

The thing is, I want this beautiful fall day to be my wedding day. I want to spend my anniversaries at a Bed and Breakfast in New England picking apples.

But I don't want to start my married life at odds with this family.

I try to remind myself that it is the marriage that is important, not the wedding. But the wedding is important to me too!

Signed,

Totally confused and starting to hate Football


Dear Totally Confused,

Your letter has me totally with my mouth hanging open. You made sure to schedule your wedding on a non-football day for your brother in law. You've sent out the invites. You have everything reserved. And despite this, not only your future brother -in-law, but also your future mother-in-law and father-in-law won't be attending, unless you change the date?

And your husband -to-be who should be your protector, wants to cave in? Or will allow you to be the "bad guy" in his family's eyes, if you stick to your guns? You're not even married yet, and he can't stand up to his family?

My advice is to run!! Call off the wedding and have a "It Was A Narrow Escape" celebration party.

There is more than football going on here Cookie. You are being shown your place in the family, and it's way behind Bill, and most probably the parents also. If and when Bill marries and/or has children, your status will decline again. Your fiancee George knows this, whether it is consciously or unconsciously, I can't say. What I do see is a future of either kowtowing to George's family, or standing up to them alone.

Not much of a future.

Count your blessings that this happened before the wedding instead of after. And have a piece of celebration cake for me!

The Agony Column

In the US it's called the "Advice Column." I only know that it's called the "Agony Column" in England because Agony was my favorite Brit Com in the 1980's, and was about an Agony Columnist.



Do you like the "Advice Columns?" I do. It's kind of like a soap opera without having to sit there for a half hour and endure commercials at the same time. It's kind of like being the listener at gossip over the back fence or by the water cooler, without looking nosy.



Sometimes, nah, often, I don't agree with the advice that is given. I feel like the columnist just doesn't really understand what is going on. You know what I mean?



Like a column from a couple of months ago. We're going to pretend that I am an advice columnist, and that the person wrote to me for advice.



Let me know what you think at the end.



Dear Old Broad,



I have known my fiancee and his family for the past five years. We met in college and became engaged last year. My fiancee George is very close to his younger brother Bill and really wants him as Best Man at our wedding. Bill is in high school and is very into football. Because George really wants to have his brother in the wedding party and because Bill is really into football, I coordinated the date of my wedding so that it would not fall on a "football" day.



The invitations have been printed and sent, the hall is reserved, the caterers hired. Everything is set for that day, except now Bill isn't coming because some other football game thing is happening. It isn't a scheduled game, I really have no idea what it is or why it is so important for Bill to attend it instead of being best man at our wedding. As a double whammy, George's parents won't be attending our wedding either, they'll be watching Bill play football.



George wants to change the date of our wedding, which means that we'll lose money on renting the hall, same with the caterers, photographer etc and we'll have to contact everyone with the new date. George really wants to have his brother as Best Man, but he will abide by my decision.



My parents are livid, and my friends while trying to be supportive (and having to potentially change their schedules) are rolling their eyes.



The thing is, I want this beautiful fall day to be my wedding day. I want to spend my anniversaries at a Bed and Breakfast in New England picking apples.



But I don't want to start my married life at odds with this family.



I try to remind myself that it is the marriage that is important, not the wedding. But the wedding is important to me too!



Signed,



Totally confused and starting to hate Football

A little apprehensive

So son number two and I were talking, and he made reference to my blog content. I was a bit surprised since ...

"Now how would you know that, since you aren't a reader of my blog, are you?" The look on his face said "Crap!" as he admitted that no, he wasn't one of my readers.



I was curious, so I asked him "Why don't you read my blog?" It's not an unusual thing, I can safely say that more people don't read my blog, than do, and in my family, the ratio of don't read to do read is even higher.



He started by saying "I get home from work pretty late, and I'm pretty tired. Most of the time I don't even read my e-mail and I just pop into FaceBook for about a half an hour or so to see what it going on there." And then he said it: "And to tell you the truth Mom, I've read your blog, and that's not your best writing. I've read your other things, and your blog just really annoys me because I know your writing is much better."



Thank-you .................... I think?