Friday, January 21, 2011

The Development, my second snippet

So, as you know, I said I was working on a story. I'm hoping that it will be good enough so that making it into an actual, buy-able book is worth while. Let me ask you, do you buy books that are not like your usual? Do you buy from authors you don't know? Do you buy books that are either longer or shorter than what you are used to? Do you buy e-books? Oooh, and if you do buy e-books, what do you read them on?
I've been trying to write every day and I am now beyond 15,000 words. Yes. I am soo proud, but that is tempered with the fact that the usual little Harlequin romance is about 65,000 words. That brings m e back to earth. How can anything be 65,000 words long unless it covers generations of people? Do you think if you wrote about this past week in your life you would use 65,000 words? Sometimes that is mind boggling and daunting!
So, here is another little snippet from the book I'm writing. Let me know how you enjoy it.

Dawn Morgan couldn't put her finger on it, but something about her room was different. Was it the atmosphere, the feeling that someone had been in her room while she was in school? Nothing seemed to be missing or not in it's usual spot, but something was …. Different.
Something was different with her brother Bobby's friend Steve Adams too. The game he had almost beat was missing. At first Steve had blamed his mother for confiscating the game because of a call from one of his teachers. His mom denied it and then Steve had blamed her brother of stealing it.
Bobby had been outraged at the accusation and Steve had back pedaled a bit and amended the stealing charge to just borrowing. Bobby hadn't been mollified at all.
The two long time friends were now enemies. For the time being anyway. Dawn wondered if Steve was as miserable with the separation as Bobby was?
Her bedroom door was thrown open by a raging Bobby. "Do you know what that rat's ass bastard did?" he demanded loudly.
Dawn had no idea of who the rat's ass bastard was, or what he had done. Considering Bobby's state of agitation, she figured reminding him about knocking before entering someone's room would be a waste of time. Dawn didn't have to wait long to find out what had Bobby so upset.
"He stole my game right out of the console!!! He yanked it right out!!"
"Who yanked it right out?" Dawn asked.
"That rat's ass bastard, Steve Adams!!!" he bellowed. "He's not getting away with this!"
Dawn couldn't imagine Steve Adams stealing anything from anyone, least of all his best friend. She tried to reason with Bobby, but he was too incensed to listen.
A few minutes later, she heard him screaming over the telephone, and then the phone being slammed into it's cradle.
"There's something not right with that story." She thought quietly to herself. She was convinced to her bones that neither Steve or her brother would steal, and certainly not from each other.
And there was still something wrong with her room. Dawn looked around her room again. Nothing looked disturbed or out of place. But there was something different, she just had no idea of what.


Sunny Day said...

I like it. When is the next installment?

Mary Bennett said...

Thank-you Sunny! The whole story won't appear on my blog. I'm writing it to eventually publish as a book "THE DEVELOPMENT." I'm hoping to get feedback as I write. Writing can be lonely work.

Lily said...

Loving it. And I expect you to autograph my copy of the book when I purchase it :).

Anonymous said...

Well you have me waiting for the next "DEVELOPMENT" snipit! Nice writing Mary! Keep going, You CAN do this!

Anonymous said...

Well you have me waiting for the next "Development" snipit! Great Writing Mary...keep going!


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