Monday, April 26, 2010

Being misjudged

No one likes being misjudged, but the amount of hurt depends on the personality of the misjudged. I know a woman named Joan, and being misjudged doesn't even move the needle of her self Richter scale. It is almost like she doesn't acknowledge it at all. A slight pause in her gait, and she is off to the next project. Ho hum.
Then there is Katherine. Her first reaction is a burst of anger and then she just shrugs it off also. I asked her about it and her response was "I'm well done with that sort of person." and I don't think she ever thought on it again.
Then there is moi, in which the first sally of misjudgement knocks me broadside and I lose my breath. "Oh no, there must be some misunderstanding." I regain my breath and try to explain and there comes the next sally of misjudgement arrows. These don't knock my breath away, they pierce me to the heart. I'm hurt, then I'm angry. I brood "How could she think that of me?" I relive the incident.
I'm kind of like Raymond Barone from the sitcom "Everybody Loves Raymond" when that one radio talk show host doesn't like him. Raymond doesn't know why the talk show host doesn't like him and when Raymond finds out why, it ends up being the dislikes of the radio show host and not really anything that Raymond has done.
His brother Robert teases him "There is somebody in this whole Raymond Universe who doesn't like you. He hates you man, and you can't take it!"
His wife tries to comfort him with reminding Raymond of his three kids, his wife and happy marriage, his friends, all of whom love him.
Yet he is still hurt.
Why? Is it because we were raised to be nice? Do we have such a high opinion of ourselves that the idea that someone misjudges and doesn't like us, shakes our world? Are we the do-gooders who need a happy earth?
I wish I knew, because I'd like to be like Katherine and say "I'm well rid of that sort." and mean it. Not think of it again.
You don't have to be a bad person to be misjudged. In fact being misjudged puts you in good company. Our Lord was misjudged as were his apostles. Saint Germain Cousin was severely misjudged for the majority of her short life.
In fact, if you stand up for anything, you are sure to be misjudged. Think about the German people who stood up against the Nazis. They were mis-judged, thought unpatriotic. As the saying goes "All it takes for evil to exist is for good men to do nothing." Maybe it is too simplistic to say that not enough people were willing to be misjudged when Hitler was trying to rise to power, and that is why he was able to accomplish what he did as Fuhrer.


Lily said...

I fall somewhere in between all of that, Mary. When I am misjudged it depends upon who is doing the misjudging of me and if they are worth my time. Most of the time I can just pause and go on with nary a second thought. I've learned over the years to let things go. Life is too short for drama. I've never been a drama queen in the truest sense. I'm more of a peacekeeper really. But when someone I love dearly misjudges me, it is disabling.

In those instances St. Gerard is my inspiration. Have you asked Gerard to intercede on your behalf? Prayers for you my friend.

Mary Bennett said...

I'm past it. I allowed myself two days to be angry, hurt and angry and hurt. That's it. Life is too short for highschool drama when you're in your 40's. :D


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